3 Effective ways to use anger to your advantage
What is your new year resolution? My resolution is getting over my anger, but at the same time using it to direct and channel to an appropriate manner. So, one of my 2011 resolution is to get angry, stay angry, and direct the anger to things that matter!
A little known secret to leadership is that great leaders tap into their dark side just like Bill Clinton….
Now, the challenge here is how to tap your dark side without being consumed by it (just like Darth Vader). Here are some ways to use your dark side to sharpen your leadership skills:
By Dave Logan
1. Think and at the same instant get mad at the same time.
The instant that people get angry, their part of their brain that controls the flight response will overtake their ability to think rationally. Anger is helpful but blind rage can be disastrous. To avoid blind anger, ask yourself what value is being violated that is making you so upset. It forces in rational thought, and lessens the chance that you’ll say something you regret!
Example: Dr. King got mad about the lack of justice and equality. Lincoln got angry at people trying to break up national unity. Churchill was upset with naïve politicians who ignored the truth about the Nazi’s actions. When Reagan said, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall,” you could see the passion that only comes from tapping anger about the violation of one of his core values–freedom.
2. Direct anger,appropriately…
There are two catastrophic pitfalls with anger: swimming it, and thinking about it. Staying angry without directing it makes people accumulate their aggression over time. And this could prove very costly, when it boils down to the limit.
President Obama spent much of 2010 showing us the other pitfall: getting angry and then explaining the source of the anger in webs of logic no one cares about. Anger is powerful because it cuts through clutter. So get to its source (the violated core value) and then use clarity in moving to a solution.
3: Form a trusted relationship so you don’t get lost in the dark side.
Anger is a useful place to visit, but you don’t want to live there.
People who fly off the handle aren’t trusted, just as people who always respond in a Vulcan manner aren’t respected. It’s worth noting that Obama spent months in 2010 coming across as calm and collected when people were outraged, over the BP spill, the lack of new jobs, and the souring deficit. He showed directed anger when he bucked his own party late in the year and compromised on tax cuts to get an extension of unemployment benefits, and the result was progress on legislation and an uptick in his popularity. Make sure you have trusted friends to make sure you don’t get mad too often, or stay mad without a sense of direction. Just as important, make sure you have friends who don’t let you stay a Vulcan too long.
Got a beef with something at work, and you’re resolving to fixing it? I hope you’ll drop a comment below.
